God’s Principles in Allegories & Parables
CHRISTIANITY 101
Thank S. Giving, Inc.
“’Hello, this is T. S. Giving’s. We fix what you’ve messed up, Ann Mercy speaking. May I help you?”
“Well, I hope you can, Miss Mercy. This is Co M. Plaint calling, and I want you to know I’ve been trying to get through to you for days. What’s the matter with you people down there? Don’t you ever answer your phone?”
“I’m very sorry, Mr. Plaint, but it’s the season, you know. So many are trying to get it fixed so that they can have a joyful time with their families during the coming festivities.”
“Well! Quite frankly, Miss, I don’t care about anyone else but me. I need help and I need it right now! And, I might add, if those losers weren’t tying up the phones I would have it already!”
“What exactly can we do for you, Mr. Plaint, now that you have reached our office?”
“Your ad said that the Thank S. Giving Institute fixes problems. Is that true?”
“Yes Sir, I’m glad to report that Mr. Thank S. Giving has quite an impressive record of changing the attitude and direction of many who have severe problems.”
“Well, that’s just it, Ann—may I call you Ann?”
“Certainly, Mr. Plaint. We want you to relax and feel that you are accepted as a client in our Institute. We also want you to know that if you decide to let us take your case, that my co-worker, Shirley Goodness and myself, Ann Mercy, are committed to follow you all the days until your life is complete again.”
“Yeah, yeah. That sounds good except for the fact that I’m not the one that has the problem! It’s all those others that are causing me problems. I can’t sleep nights, food doesn’t taste good to me any more, and it’s effecting my job! Sometimes I even feel sick all over. I need help!!”
“Now Mr. Plaint, settle down. If Mr. Giving and his team of co-workers here at the Institute are going to help you, we will need your full cooperation.”
“Yes, anything. I will do anything.”
“Wonderful, I’m always glad to hear that. That means there is hope for your problem when you are willing to change. Now, what I need from you is some information so that when you meet with Thank S. Giving you will be able to be helped.”
“Your name is Co M. Plaint, right?”
“Right.”
“And, your address?”
“2 Little, 2 Late Gloomy Lane, Nowhere-ville.”
“I see, I see. And who are your neighbors?”
“S. Trife is on my right and Eve Evilwork is on my left. Why do you ask?”
“I have an idea that when you meet with Mr. Thank S. Giving for your first therapy session, he is going to ask you to change addresses and move away from that part of town. You do know, don’t you, that Evil companionships corrupt good character?” (I Cor. 15:33)
“If you say so. But what about those that are causing my problems?”
“Yes, of course. When you meet with Thank S. Giving, he will want to know their exact names. So give them to me now, please.”
“First, there is R. E. Grets. Everywhere I go he seems to show up. I’ve got to tell you it’s driving me crazy.”
“And who else, Mr. Plaint?”
“There are two others that just won’t leave me alone either. Every job I get and every new friend that I meet, these two eventually show up and mess it up for me. Their names are Bit T. Errness and my Bro, Ken Ness. Oh, Miss Mercy, do you think you can help me?”
“Yes, of course, we can. Our Institute uses ‘Cast Your Care Moving Company’, and I will send them over in the morning to help you change locations. By the way, their representative will come to your door. Her name is Joy, and remember she will be there in the morning.”
“Oh, this is wonderful, Miss Mercy. I’m feeling better already. But what about tomorrow? How do I get to the place that I need to be? How will I find your partner, Shirley Goodness, and you, Miss Ann Mercy?”
“You don’t worry about that, Mr. Plaint. We will find you. You look behind, we will be following. Now tomorrow when you awaken, go quickly to the corner of Hunger and Thirst. It’s right after Righteousness. B. Fed will be there to help you the rest of the way. Then, when you come to Gates, which is just before Courts, Thank S. Giving and his assistant, Lot S. Praise will guide you in the rest of the way.”
“I can’t believe you are going to do all this work just for me. Do you do this for everyone?”
“Yes, as a matter of fact. All of those who call on our name will be helped. It’s part of our promises.”
“Now listen, Mr. Co M. Plaint. This is very important. If our people are going to help you, they may ask you to do something that sounds strange to you; but if you don’t do it none of this will work.”
“Yes, I’ll do anything!”
“Good! Now when Joy comes in the morning she will not help you unless you change your name.”
“My name? What do you mean?”
“When you answer the door, tell her your name is B. Thankful, and when you do, S. Inging and G. Ladness and Joy will move you from Gloomy Street to Gates and Courts where P. Eace will help you settle in. Oh, by the way, when you hang up the phone, you will hear a knock on your door. It will be Mary Hart, she has some medicine that will do you good, Mr. Plaint. Take it and sleep well. And remember, Joy comes in the morning!”
Happy Thanksgiving!
Pastor Watkins
Good Will Agent
Scriptures: Psalm. 100:4, Proverbs. 17:22, Col. 3:15, Psalm. 30:5, 1 Peter 5:7, Psalm. 23:6
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